| Parent to parent, I wanted to share my experiences living with Autism... The amazing triumphs, the challenges, and everything in between. |
A Mommy's Journal
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| Aug. 29, 2007 |
This painting is called "I lock the door upon myself". I saw it when I was in 4th grade, and it really touched
me... So much so that I never forgot it, or the name of it. Funny, now it really reminds me of my daughter...
So I googled it & found it....
me... So much so that I never forgot it, or the name of it. Funny, now it really reminds me of my daughter...
So I googled it & found it....
| These are some pictures I took about a year and a half ago.... Little did I know these were some of the "early warning signs" for Autism. |
what i see is a very special & unique child.
some may see the way she lines up her toys, and call it obsessive and odd.
what i see is a very organized child, who pays attention to the details of her toys.
some may see her as non-verbal and think she will never speak...
the way i see it is that WE need to reach HER and show her how to communicate.
some may see her have a meltdown, and think she's a brat or spoiled.
i see frustration with the world around her that breaks my heart,
and i'm determined to help her understand it.
some people may see her as withdrawn....
i see that she has her own secret & beautiful world,
and she is slowly starting to include me in it.
some don't understand why she wipes her hands on everything.
what i see is a child that likes to keep her hands clean.
some may see her spinning in circles, or flapping her hands,
and think she needs to stop that strange behavior.
i see that my little girl is overwhelmed, and i will let her do what she needs to do
to get all her senses in order,and do what i can to help that process.
some may see my life as a burden.......
but i see my life as blessed.
it's all how you look at things.
some may see the way she lines up her toys, and call it obsessive and odd.
what i see is a very organized child, who pays attention to the details of her toys.
some may see her as non-verbal and think she will never speak...
the way i see it is that WE need to reach HER and show her how to communicate.
some may see her have a meltdown, and think she's a brat or spoiled.
i see frustration with the world around her that breaks my heart,
and i'm determined to help her understand it.
some people may see her as withdrawn....
i see that she has her own secret & beautiful world,
and she is slowly starting to include me in it.
some don't understand why she wipes her hands on everything.
what i see is a child that likes to keep her hands clean.
some may see her spinning in circles, or flapping her hands,
and think she needs to stop that strange behavior.
i see that my little girl is overwhelmed, and i will let her do what she needs to do
to get all her senses in order,and do what i can to help that process.
some may see my life as a burden.......
but i see my life as blessed.
it's all how you look at things.
| The Beginning |
| An old memory.... or an early sign of things to come? |
| What I See |
This was my journal entry on MySpace for Oct. 17 2006 :
got the kids up, dressed & fed. managed to woof down a banana & head out to siobhan's speech therapy.
right in front of me, there was a small fender-bender. nothing serious, but it kept me from getting on the
highway... so i call to tell them i'm running late. we get there, i get my little sweetie settled in, then orlando
and i run to the health food store to get some gluten free stuff for siobhan. i had 2 large paper bags (that
wouldn't fit under the stroller) and no one even offered to help me get it to the car. no biggie... i managed.
a sweet girl noticed me struggling to get my keys out & came & helped me. (i really appreciate things like
that.) so it was back to therapy to get siobhan & head home. after we got her & got on the road, we ended
up in traffic for 3 HOURS! i mean a dead stop on the highway. none of us had snacks or lunch, both babies
decided it was a great time to poop, and we were quickly running out of time to get back to meet jessica's
bus. i finally pulled into the driveway about 30 seconds before jess got home. in we go. change diapers,
feed kids, put away food, get kids bathed & settled......... and BREATH!
but i sit here smiling.... you know why?
siobhan spontaneously hugged orlando. i didn't ask her to. she just did it. orlando was so excited, and i
almost cried.
it was a beautiful day.
got the kids up, dressed & fed. managed to woof down a banana & head out to siobhan's speech therapy.
right in front of me, there was a small fender-bender. nothing serious, but it kept me from getting on the
highway... so i call to tell them i'm running late. we get there, i get my little sweetie settled in, then orlando
and i run to the health food store to get some gluten free stuff for siobhan. i had 2 large paper bags (that
wouldn't fit under the stroller) and no one even offered to help me get it to the car. no biggie... i managed.
a sweet girl noticed me struggling to get my keys out & came & helped me. (i really appreciate things like
that.) so it was back to therapy to get siobhan & head home. after we got her & got on the road, we ended
up in traffic for 3 HOURS! i mean a dead stop on the highway. none of us had snacks or lunch, both babies
decided it was a great time to poop, and we were quickly running out of time to get back to meet jessica's
bus. i finally pulled into the driveway about 30 seconds before jess got home. in we go. change diapers,
feed kids, put away food, get kids bathed & settled......... and BREATH!
but i sit here smiling.... you know why?
siobhan spontaneously hugged orlando. i didn't ask her to. she just did it. orlando was so excited, and i
almost cried.
it was a beautiful day.
| A Day..... |
| Be patient.... Next entry coming soon! |
Easter.... Autism Style! :)
We've also added Methyl-B12 injections to her biomedical intervention. (For info, videos of kids who have
had success with this treatment & more, CLICK HERE.) This treatment was recommended by Siobhan's DAN!
(Defeat Autism Now!) Doctor. To learn more about DAN! Doctors and locate one in your area who is familiar
with & can prescribe this treatment, CLICK HERE. So far, Siobhan is responding very well! She's on several
other supplements as well, but the most noticeable changes we've seen in her behavior have been from the
GF/CF diet, and the Methyl-B12.
As far as her Son-Rise program goes, I'm fitting in as many hours with her as I can throughout the day, but
it's difficult with 2 toddlers.... Little Orlando needs my love & attention as well. We're still in the beginning
stages of her program & working on our relationship & bonding. My sweet little girl is smiling & laughing like
crazy these days! Just a few months ago, if I tried to kiss her, she would turn her head... If I hugged her,
she wouldn't hug back. Now she puckers right up & gives me a big *MUAH!" right on the lips! ....And she's
spontaneously hugging me! Siobhan is also tolerating her little brother more. We even caught her giving
HIM a hug!
Anyway... That's all I have time for now......
| Siobhans's Progress.... |
| Aug. 21, 2007 |
| Aug. 20, 2007 |
| Thank you for visiting this page. If this is your first time here, I want to share a letter given to me when we found out my daughter has autism before you read my journal. This really helped me to accept the diagnosis, not dwell on it, & take the next steps to help my baby girl. |
| Sept. 30, 2007 |
I wanted to take a moment to explain why I work so hard to help Siobhan to recover from Autism.... I have
2 brothers that I adore, and their relationships are the world to me. As I sit & watch my little boy try every
day to play with his sister... To bond with her... To connect... To LOVE her, I think of them. I think about
how badly I want my son to have this relationship that I value so much with each of my brothers. He never
gives up... No matter how many times she pushes him away, or goes to her room & shuts the door.... He
keeps trying... Just for those few sweet moments that she'll glance at him and smile, or let him hug her, or
tickle her. I want Siobhan to be able to communicate with her big sister... To have a relationship, and the
special admiration a little girl has for her older sister. I do this not just for Siobhan... But for our family. And
for every other family out there going through the same thing. I want to add one more name to the
growing list of children who have recovered from this. One more reason for parents to have hope. I'm not
Jenny McCarthy... I'm not famous... I'm just a Mom. I may not reach a lot of people... But I hope watching
Siobhan grow, blossom & progress gives some families out there a little more hope that with early
intervention, hard work, and the right therapy & treatment... Your children can improve. Be a force of
nature in your child's life... Be their voice, fight for the best for them in the schools, leave no stone
unturned... The same treatments may not work for every child... But there's one out there that will. It just
may not have been found yet. There is ALWAYS hope... No matter what anybody else tells you... No doctor
or "expert" can take that away.
....and to my brothers.... I love you both very much.
2 brothers that I adore, and their relationships are the world to me. As I sit & watch my little boy try every
day to play with his sister... To bond with her... To connect... To LOVE her, I think of them. I think about
how badly I want my son to have this relationship that I value so much with each of my brothers. He never
gives up... No matter how many times she pushes him away, or goes to her room & shuts the door.... He
keeps trying... Just for those few sweet moments that she'll glance at him and smile, or let him hug her, or
tickle her. I want Siobhan to be able to communicate with her big sister... To have a relationship, and the
special admiration a little girl has for her older sister. I do this not just for Siobhan... But for our family. And
for every other family out there going through the same thing. I want to add one more name to the
growing list of children who have recovered from this. One more reason for parents to have hope. I'm not
Jenny McCarthy... I'm not famous... I'm just a Mom. I may not reach a lot of people... But I hope watching
Siobhan grow, blossom & progress gives some families out there a little more hope that with early
intervention, hard work, and the right therapy & treatment... Your children can improve. Be a force of
nature in your child's life... Be their voice, fight for the best for them in the schools, leave no stone
unturned... The same treatments may not work for every child... But there's one out there that will. It just
may not have been found yet. There is ALWAYS hope... No matter what anybody else tells you... No doctor
or "expert" can take that away.
....and to my brothers.... I love you both very much.
| Brothers and Sisters.... |
 |  |  |  |  |  |
I wanted to show everyone the process we go through when Siobhan paints: |
| Siobhan's Painting Process |
| Oct. 17, 2007 |
| The Setup (So she can see all the colors & indicate what she wants.) |
| The aftermath... But she's happy, so the mess is worth it! |
| The Artist at Work.... This goes on for about 30 minutes or so. |
The Finished Products...
| The only thing I do is give her the colors she wants & turn the canvas for her if it's a big one & she can't reach. It's really amazing & I'm gonna try to catch it on video soon. |
| Nov. 18, 2007 |
I just had to take a moment to gush about my son.... Siobhan seems to take the spotlight, but it's not
exactly true... My son Orlando is the wind in her sails. His love & endless affection are the best therapy my
daughter (and the rest of the family) could have. I couldn't have asked for more in a son. He is my joy on
the hardest of days, and he refuses to give up trying to play & interact with Siobhan. He joins her in every
activity, weather it's just sitting quietly looking at books, or flapping his hands with her when she's excited,
or giving her big bear hugs when she needs the sensory input. He seems to always know what she needs...
And he's learning to accept when she just needs some space & quiet time. My son's silly antics bring out the
much needed release of laughter throughout the day. He eases the stress of any situation with his infectious
giggles. Orlando's acceptance, compassion, understanding & intuition is at the very core of the progress
Siobhan makes. I knew he was special when he was born also... Just a different kind of special. While my
daughter inspires hope in other families, my son inspires love in our family.
| My Beautiful, Beautiful Boy.... |
| Dec. 12, 2007 |
I recently stopped selling goods on ebay, and started selling on a site called "Etsy". In my opinion, ebay has
become way too complicated & expensive to sell on. Etsy is more of a community of artists & crafters, and
you only sell handmade items on it. (it's also MUCH cheaper & easier to list your items.) I decided to
purchase only hand-made gifts this year for the Holidays, and from now on for every occasion. After
browsing the shops on Etsy, I realized you can find just about everything, but hand made. Even toys, and
after all the recalls this year... I feel much safer with handmade toys. I'd rather put my money into an
artist's pocket, rather than some already too wealthy big chain of stores. I hope some of you reading this
will join me in making the "Handmade Pledge". There is still plenty of time to shop for the holidays, so here
are my top Etsy picks for the Holidays:
Beautiful jewelry from the mother of a child with Autism: Designs by Daniella
A maker of "I Spy" bean bags, and other creative & SAFE toys for kids: World of Whimm
A crafter of SAFE & NON-TOXIC puzzles: Grandpa's Wood Shop
This shop makes weighted blankets & other goodies for the Special Needs community Suzannes Special Kids
This one is for the Moms... we deserve to pamper ourselves once in a while: Kikko Soapworks
| My Holiday Blog.... |
A discussion began in one of my online support groups that became quite heated regarding the
meaning of the puzzle piece as the symbol for ASD.
Personally, I never once assumed that the puzzle piece meant that people with ASD are a puzzle.
I don't feel that they are missing pieces, are broken, and need to be "fixed" or "cured". I thought
the puzzle piece meant that Autism is the puzzle. Autism is a part of my daughter, and we accept
and embrace her uniqueness. However, Autism causes biological problems for many children.
(Leaky gut, head aches, yeast over growth... Etc.) These all cause discomfort. I just want to heal,
cure and fix my daughter's BODY. Siobhan cannot usually Communicate to me if she's not feeling
well. I do know that gluten and dairy give her head aches... It's one of the things she can and does
communicate to me. I know that she is physically lacking in certain essential vitamins & minerals, so
I supplement them. Since I started biomedical intervention, she is healthier, happier & sleeping
better. I also give my son, (who is NT) a multi-vitamin, and I take one myself. We all take zinc to
keep our immune systems healthy. I try to use organic foods in our diets only... And I use no
chemicals in our house, for the better health of all of us. If these things help my daughter have a
clearer head, and a better ability to learn and express herself so that she may one day voice her
opinions on a forum like this... I don't see anything wrong with that. I do yoga. Is it to lose weight
to fit some idea of what a woman should look like? No. It's something I enjoy, it relaxes me and it
keeps me healthy. My dog is a Yorkie. I feed him organic dog food. Does that mean I'm trying to
make him into a Poodle? No. I'm trying to keep him healthy so he'll have a long & full life with us.
Finding out what biological interventions will work for each child: THAT IS THE PUZZLE to me.
Now, as far as therapy goes, again I'm not trying to change her. If she flaps I flap. If she lines her
toys up, I sit right beside her and join her. (This is the Son-Rise method I keep talking about.) This
therapy method centers around her and her motivations. Teaching and educating her in a loving
and accepting environment... I'm trying to teach her how to bond, have relationships, and
communicate her needs and wants, as well as to be more independent. I don't feel Autism should
hold her back, or keep her from having a full and wonderful life. I don't want to take her Autism
away... I just won't let it define her or limit her.
Finding the methods to reach you child... THAT IS THE PUZZLE to me.
Anyway, this is how we do things in our home. This is what works for us. My daughter can now
use the potty, and tell me what she wants to drink or eat... I don't consider that "conforming to
society". I call it progress. (I think it's much more comfortable for her to go potty than walk
around in a messy diaper, don't you?)
I want my children to have the opportunity to discover their passion... There loves... To have
their grand adventures. I want Siobhan to have the same opportunities as everyone else. No
matter what she chooses to do. I don't give a rat's a** if she wants to finger paint when she's 30.
I'll still be there cheering her on and cleaning up the mess. So there. :)
I think the puzzle piece means something different to everyone. It's all how you perceive it. This
is just my perception of it.
These are only my personal views and opinions. I may be right, I may be wrong, but I do the
best I can for my family. All of them. I'd love to hear your thoughts... Please contact me if you'd
like to share them.
meaning of the puzzle piece as the symbol for ASD.
Personally, I never once assumed that the puzzle piece meant that people with ASD are a puzzle.
I don't feel that they are missing pieces, are broken, and need to be "fixed" or "cured". I thought
the puzzle piece meant that Autism is the puzzle. Autism is a part of my daughter, and we accept
and embrace her uniqueness. However, Autism causes biological problems for many children.
(Leaky gut, head aches, yeast over growth... Etc.) These all cause discomfort. I just want to heal,
cure and fix my daughter's BODY. Siobhan cannot usually Communicate to me if she's not feeling
well. I do know that gluten and dairy give her head aches... It's one of the things she can and does
communicate to me. I know that she is physically lacking in certain essential vitamins & minerals, so
I supplement them. Since I started biomedical intervention, she is healthier, happier & sleeping
better. I also give my son, (who is NT) a multi-vitamin, and I take one myself. We all take zinc to
keep our immune systems healthy. I try to use organic foods in our diets only... And I use no
chemicals in our house, for the better health of all of us. If these things help my daughter have a
clearer head, and a better ability to learn and express herself so that she may one day voice her
opinions on a forum like this... I don't see anything wrong with that. I do yoga. Is it to lose weight
to fit some idea of what a woman should look like? No. It's something I enjoy, it relaxes me and it
keeps me healthy. My dog is a Yorkie. I feed him organic dog food. Does that mean I'm trying to
make him into a Poodle? No. I'm trying to keep him healthy so he'll have a long & full life with us.
Finding out what biological interventions will work for each child: THAT IS THE PUZZLE to me.
Now, as far as therapy goes, again I'm not trying to change her. If she flaps I flap. If she lines her
toys up, I sit right beside her and join her. (This is the Son-Rise method I keep talking about.) This
therapy method centers around her and her motivations. Teaching and educating her in a loving
and accepting environment... I'm trying to teach her how to bond, have relationships, and
communicate her needs and wants, as well as to be more independent. I don't feel Autism should
hold her back, or keep her from having a full and wonderful life. I don't want to take her Autism
away... I just won't let it define her or limit her.
Finding the methods to reach you child... THAT IS THE PUZZLE to me.
Anyway, this is how we do things in our home. This is what works for us. My daughter can now
use the potty, and tell me what she wants to drink or eat... I don't consider that "conforming to
society". I call it progress. (I think it's much more comfortable for her to go potty than walk
around in a messy diaper, don't you?)
I want my children to have the opportunity to discover their passion... There loves... To have
their grand adventures. I want Siobhan to have the same opportunities as everyone else. No
matter what she chooses to do. I don't give a rat's a** if she wants to finger paint when she's 30.
I'll still be there cheering her on and cleaning up the mess. So there. :)
I think the puzzle piece means something different to everyone. It's all how you perceive it. This
is just my perception of it.
These are only my personal views and opinions. I may be right, I may be wrong, but I do the
best I can for my family. All of them. I'd love to hear your thoughts... Please contact me if you'd
like to share them.
| April 22, 2008 |
| The meaning of the Puzzle Piece: |